estranged

Oops, i did it again!

2005-12-13T05:56:00.000-08:00

Yup. You guessed it. I gave in once more. What happened next? The usual.

Once bitten... twice shy. ISnt that the way it goes? What's wrong with ME then??? :/

best friends

2005-12-13T05:24:00.000-08:00

what exactly is this entity that we call a 'best friend'? What are best friends made of? How does one qualify as a best friend?? Do you become someone's best friend of your own free will, or must you wait for someone to bestow this title upon you?

It's a conceptual thing really. Everyone defines the parameters, the attributes of a best friend differently.

Lets see. My best friend. Do i have one? I dont think i want one.

For me, a best friend has always been:
-someone who brings out the best in me
-someone who is always around when i need her/him (and the other way around too)
-someone who'll put up with all my whims
-someone whom i can relate to easily
-someone with whom i dont really need to vocally express myself to be understood
-someone who understands where i'm coming from and lets me just be ME
-someone who'll point out my mistakes and show me the right way
-someone who'll always be sincere

Hm. Have i asked for too much? Not really. Why? Only because these are all the things i hope my friends can easily give me credit for too!!

I do not judge people, which is why it's always slightly hard for me to accept criticism of any sort.
I do not let people down. I'd most probly let myself be let down instead.
I do not interfere in the lives of my friends. Some people call me "selfish" because of that. But im not really. I just don't believe in asking for extra information on my own. I dont believe in giving advice where it's not welcomed. I dont like dishing for dirty gossip jus because i need to kill some time.

So now what? What do i do, when i finally realise, that the person who has literally been my soul, my sister, my inner-most self, is not really who she seems to be? All she's really done in the last 6 years is continuously back-stab me, and try to ruin my life under the guise of "sincerity"!! Guess what? She's achieved success there toO!! She got what she wanted!! What do i do then?

I trust people too easily.... another dangerous characteristic of mine.
I'm an open-book.. literally (another dangerous one).... sigh.

the list of my follies keeps getting longer and longer.

Anyways. Now im finding out that the relationship i believed was the most precious, most PURE one i had, was nothing but a figment of my bloody imaginatioN!!!

i feel like such an idiot. really.

best friends. Who the hell needs em?! I'm much much better off without one.

abusive relationships

2005-12-10T08:04:00.000-08:00

Leaving an abusive relationship can often be difficult. Abusers are usually very controlling of their partners, often telling them where they can go, what they can wear, or who they can hang out with. The serious mental and physical abuse often starts after the abuser gains control over the victim through emotional, verbal, or mental abuse, often without the victim realizing that this is serious or even happening. Because many abusers isolate their partners from friends and family, victims are often separated from those who can help to build them back up and support them in leaving a relationship. Some abusers are so violent and threatening that a victim may fear that if they break up with the abuser, he or she will become even more violent, perhaps stalking the victim or hurting the victim or victim's family members. In addition, it is common for abusers to apologize after hurting their partners, promising it will never happen again, giving the victim nice gifts, or even blaming the victim for the abuse. Because of this "honeymoon" phase, the victim may believe the abuser will never hit them again or wouldn't have hurt the victim if only he or she had acted differently (i.e. Not "flirted" with someone, been at home when the abuser called, not been late). No matter what lie the abuser chooses to use, a victim is never responsible for the abuse. No one deserves to be abused.

2005-12-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

"Other people may be there to help us, teach us, guide us along our path. But the lesson to be learned is always ours."
Melody Beattie

2005-12-09T04:56:00.000-08:00

Great minds discuss IDEAS
Average minds discuss EVENTS
Shallow minds discuss PEOPLE
....... which am i?

day 2

2005-12-03T02:12:00.000-08:00

i hate being sad.

day 1

2005-12-02T01:12:00.000-08:00

phew. that wasnt so bad.

Main Entry: es·trange
Pronunciation: is-'trAnj
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): es·tranged; es·trang·ing

1 : to remove from customary environment or associations
2 : to arouse especially mutual enmity or indifference in where there had formerly been love
affection, or friendliness.

synonyms: ESTRANGE, ALIENATE, DISAFFECT mean to cause one to break a bond of affection or loyalty. ESTRANGE implies the development of indifference or hostility with consequent separation or divorcement . ALIENATE may or may not suggest separation but always implies loss of affection or interest . DISAFFECT refers especially to those from whom loyalty is expected and stresses the effects (as rebellion or discontent) of alienation without actual separation.